Thursday, May 16, 2013

An Author a Day for Thirty Days: Day 16

Gianna's under the weather, so I'm going to channel her and type what Spirit Gianna whispers into my head. Ready? Here we go.

Spirit Gianna speaks: Liz, do not tell them I have syphilis. That's not funny. 

I'm really faking being sick. I'm just too embarrassed to admit that I stayed up late last night reading Twilight. It's so good.

No, I don't think that Twilight gave me syphilis. It's just so good. Like, "slap your mama" good. It's contagious. Like herpes.

Sometimes I like to cast Lizzy and me as book characters, and in this case I'd have to say that Lizzy is Edward because she's just so, so pale, and I'm Jacob because I'm the hot one. Also, I like to walk around without my shirt. 

Team Liz
or
Team Gianna?
Dammit Liz, the second book is not called "Breaking Wind." If anything, Breaking Dawn is better than the first Twilight. (Also, it's the fourth book, not the second.) I know this because sequels are always better than the first in the series. Look at Star Wars. If we were Star Wars characters, Lizzy would be Chewbacca and I would be a jawa. Obviously I'm basing this on height and the noises Lizzy makes when I'm driving. 

No, Liz, do NOT spread the rumor that I'm pregnant. Bella was pregnant with Edward's vampire baby. Fang babies are so darn cute.

I have a crush on Kristen Stewart.

[We will return to a less fever-driven post tomorrow. Or Gianna will still be sick and dreaming about Fifty Shades of Grey.] 

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