Friday, April 19, 2013

Good and Cheap (Books)! Day 17

Well damn. It's been a hell of a week. I'm exhausted. In fact, I'm in no mood to write a blog piece today, so I'm turning it over to Zorro. He likes books. He sleeps on them all the time. And he likes to knock them off the shelves.

Zorro's pick: Crafting with Cat Hair.


Fur. Mine is glorious. My white is snowy, my gray like a sleek shark in tint, and so soft. I am luxurious. I am a handsome devil. Minks? Who wants a rodent draped on shoulders when you could have feline finery? 

Do not doubt my typing skills.
Scratch that. And believe me, scratching is a joy. Pardon me while I scratch some furniture for a bit. Damn, my paws are beautiful. Look at those rippling muscles and sharp claws. Excuse me for a moment.
Kitty in repose. 


So, anyway, I'm supposed to talk about a book, and while I like The Master and Margarita in principle because it has a giant cat devil in it, I also don't like the competition. I am a cat god. All cats should bow before me. And certainly some already do. So I'm picking Crafting with Cat Hair. DIY is hot (or DIL, for "Do It, Lizzy," because that's how I roll). And I am hot. I am such a handsome fucker. You can take my shed locks and make them into appropriate icons of my majesty. 

Listen, human food source, this isn't a joke. You can make a picture frame from my fur and then properly add my picture, and then you can continue to create a shrine to my glory. And for your children's sermon in the Church of Zorro, you can use the finger puppets to act out my feats of majesty. 

Think I'm just a psycho kitty? Here are some of the reviews that the human media wrote about this publishing masterpiece:

"It caught our attention." --The Huffington Post

"It's bizarre, to be sure, but the appliques are kind of cute too." --The Austin American-Statesman

"There's no other word for this book except: purrfect." --Los Angeles Times 

Okay, I live in a pun-free zone, so I'm going to have to cut that LA Times reviewer. Can someone send him/her to my palace? I'm not allowed outside. Ooh, the TV's warm. I'm going to sit against it for awhile. Someone please tell Lizzy to stop yelling at me.
Watch me. 

I think I need to go back to sleep. Consciousness is far too much of an effort. All of this shedding for future projects is a major commitment. 

I am a sexy beast.
I'm sexy and I know it. And now you know it.
Look at that body.

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