Give This Book: Holiday Ideas 2014, Part 2

About a decade ago while out enjoying SXSW I received a phone call from my friend and then roommate that went something like this:

Me: Hello?

Friend: Hi. You have to come home; I think the house may have been robbed.

Me:  Why do you think the house may have been robbed?

Friend: Because the house was robbed.

Bless her heart; she was trying to do that thing where you break bad news in the most gentle of ways.

this song will now be
in your head

So, yeah my house was burgled and those little sons a bitches got a pretty good haul (relax book lovers, not one book was stolen so we can be pretty certain it wasn’t a gang of nerds). They took every ounce of booze in the house, my  old Minolta camera (which my mother tortured us with when were kids) and they cleared out over half my cd collection.  Like any civilized person my cds were alphabetized and A-O were stolen and yes, that included my Falco, Rock Me Amadeus extended mix single. Life just is not fair, I know that now.

hoodlums!

I tell you this horrifically sad story for two reasons. First, teenagers simply can not be trusted. If you do trust them (and you should not!), prepare yourself for disappointment and fewer musical choices. Second, a day or two after the unfortunate incident, I actually felt a bit lighter which intrigued me. A few weeks later I found  a few of my rare cds at a used music shop here in town (I was doing the equivalent of looking for a lost dog and checking the pound every day).  I was told that I could buy the cds back at the store’s cost (if I produced my police report). Huh, buy my stolen goods back? It was the most tempting, most American thing ever, but I thought maybe I liked having fewer things and walked away.

Marie Kondo

From that incident on, I have made an effort to acquire less and get rid of more but it wasn’t until reading The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo that I was able to begin to turn the process of having fewer things into a life practice. I got rid of what I got rid of, some of it was easy (so long acid washed jeans with a rip at the knee, we were so good together once), some things were hard (can we work this out acid washed jean overalls with a rip at the knee). Other things were off the table and I think you know what I am talking about…the books. All the books, so many books, the books the books the books. Why didn’t those kids take these books? Rotten kids leaving me with all these
books.

Marie Kondo prescribes holding each object in your hands, does this object, this thing, bring you joy? Obviously you cannot do this exercise if you’re drunk, holding a balled up pair of knee high striped socks with tears in your eyes and babbling something about Lollapalooza and 1998, it’s not helpful. And also, don’t ball up your socks anymore; there is a chapter on that in the book.

So, over a weeklong period I sat with a couple hundred books. I held each one, thanked the book, or in many cases wondered why I still had the book (lots of stinkers, let’s be honest), but I really had to meditate on what brought me joy. Was it the book, or was it the memory of the book, would I read the book again, did I need this physical book in my house? The answer was almost always, no and I began to purge nearly half my collection.

While there are certainly books that would painful for me to get rid of (my signed All Over But the Shoutin’ while not my favorite book, is very personal to me) and I know now that I can, I can get rid of any book in my house. Okay…that’s an overstatement but you see where I am going.

Most of us have too much, we do. We are drowning in it. So in this season of giving more stuff you can give the gift of letting go, having less, and moving on. This book helps you prioritize and rationalize why we keep things, why it’s so hard to let go, and why our lives are better with less clutter. And seriously, stop balling up those socks; they’ve been good to you.

Right now, both of my dogs are sitting at my feet and I just can’t help but think….is it one dog too many?

DIY Christmas Fun in Book Land

I like to think that Gianna and I place lots of thought into our Christmas gifts to each other. She went to great lengths to find a Talking Dr. Laura Doll one year.  I had already picked up a book for her, but I wanted to give her something more personal too.  Something that speaks to the friendship we have.  Last night I was browsing a link from the Book Riot website and came across an idea for do it yourself magnetic poetry.  It hit me: I could do that!

This morning I set off to create a handmade gift for my pal.

Step One: Materials.  It turns out that making your own magnetic poetry is really easy.  All you need are magnet sheets (obtainable at a craft store), a book, and scissors.

The perfect book
for this project

Step Two: Pull pages out of a book.  Normally I oppose the destruction of books for craft projects, no matter how cool the craft might be.  I don't really think that books should be turned into iPad case or purses.  In this one instance, though, it immediately occurred to me that there was one perfect book that encapsulated 2012....and in this particular instance, with 60 million copies in circulation, one deconstructed copy isn't going to break down the social order. (Don't destroy books.  Oppose censorship.  And many, many thanks for all of the Fifty Shades sales this year.  Seriously.)

Page from the book with the margins trimmed

Step Three: Remove the backing from the magnet sheets and stick the selected pages to the magnets.

Magnet sheets.  See how easy this is?

Step Four: Cut out phrases, verbs, nouns, articles, adjectives, adverbs, etc.

Lots of juicy phrases to select...

Innocent phrases can be selectively edited to sound
filthy: "He's just given me a..."

Step Five: Presentation.  I stole a sandwich baggy from the friend who, due to pregnancy related bed rest, was a captive assistant in this project.

Fifty Shades of Fridge Poetry

Step Six: Class is in the wrapping.

Stick the tacky gift with the classy one.
The recipient will be more forgiving.

Step Seven: Delivery.  I texted Gianna and asked if I could come over to exchange gifts.  She replied that I never had to ask to bring presents.

"This is something that someone in a mental hospital would do."

How did Gianna respond?  Gianna knows quality when she sees it. Here's the word-for-word conversation as she unwrapped her gift:

Gianna: What is this?....
Gianna: Wait...Is this from Fifty Shades of Grey?
Liz: (Snickering) Yeah.
Gianna: (pause as she sorts through some of the words)..."Dark"...."foamy lather"....
Gianna's girlfriend Natasha: Those are going up on the fridge tonight.
Gianna: Uh, you know this is something that someone in a mental hospital would do, right?
Liz: I am aware of that.
Gianna: This is the coolest thing ever.

As Gianna continued to sort through the pile of words ("agonizing orgasm," "he thrusts," "husky"), I opened the envelope she had handed me.  My gift from Gianna?  A gift certificate for Kiva, the micro loan foundation that is working to eradicate poverty around the world.  While I am sensitively loaning a woman in Burma the money to buy a goat, Gianna will be snickering over titillating fridge art.  We're always classy.

Books We Want for the Holidays: Old Time Politics

You know what people can’t get enough of this time of year? Politics. That’s right, politics. Okay maybe not today’s politics, or more precisely, the fiscal cliff dysfunction, but old timey politics. Here I will give you two examples of how you can make a history and politic loving son of a gun on your list very happy.

Thomas Jefferson

 Practically in love!

Jon Meacham’s Thomas Jefferson: The Art of Power. Meacham presents Jefferson as very possibly the most successful leader in history. He had talents beyond most leaders. Not only was he strategically inclined but also a deep thinker. We are of course knee deep in Abe right now, and that’s fine (if you like tall people),but you will not read a more timely biography. From cultural wars to extreme partisanship, the comparisons are uncanny.   

Let the People In

Let the People In: The Life and Times of Ann Richards by Jan Reid. This is just a really fantastic memoir about our beloved (and oh so missed) Ann Richards. She kicked ass and took names, and she was a progressive who could actually work with the other side. Richards paved a road that not only women in politics benefit from, but also gay and lesbian politicians. She truly believed that the government was meant to include all. She believed government should be transparent, that politicians should let the people in.

Books We Want for the Holidays: Mystery Addiction

Today I am going to talk addiction. I’m certainly not cool enough to have any sort of interesting addiction like oxy or shoplifting, or eating rocks (it’s a thing, I saw it on television), but I do know what it’s like to be addicted to a book series.  What do addicts like more than anything? Company. Here are a few series that you can get your loved ones addicted to this holiday season.

 

Lee Child’s Jack Reacher series will keep your loved one busy for quite a while.  And here is the great thing: close your eyes and pick any Jack Reacher novel, doesn’t matter, the man does not disappoint. It may be fun though, to go back to the beginning and get someone started properly. I have yet to hear one person say “Meh, I don’t really get the Lee Child fascination” (and don’t be a jerk and write in and say it now just to make us look bad!). The latest novel is Wanted Man, if you want to jump in that way, but I would recommend grabbing three paperbacks: Killing Floor, Die Trying, and Tripwire. These are the first three in the series. If you don’t care about starting at the beginning, I will offer my three favorite Lee Child books: Persuader, Nothing to Lose, and 61 Hours; those aren’t in order but I didn’t read him in order either.   You know what, just start anywhere, you’ll thank me.

Oh, and Tom Cruise IS Jack Reacher, watch! 

Janet Evanovich recently moved to Random House and it has seemed to reinvigorate her Stephanie Plumb books (and this is according to her most critical reader and her biggest fan, a woman who has read every single book …Gianna’s mom).  I suggest you start in the high teens: Smokin’ Seventeen (paper), Explosive Eighteen (paper), and her latest, Notorious Nineteen.

One of my favorite mystery writers I wish more people would read is Lisa Unger. She has a couple of different series and a few stand alone novels. I think I have probably read six or seven of her books, and I would define Unger as a literary mystery writer. Unger’s Lydia Strong series begins with Angel Fire, Darkness Gathers, Smoke, and finally Twice.  Unger has a new stand alone novel called Heartbroken which is garnering fantastic reviews, and is on my holiday list (hint hint).