My Age of Anxiety by Scott Stossel

This is what the outside looks like at sales conference.
Sometimes it's better not to look since you'll be in a
conference room all day, all week. 

I just spent a week in Florida with my publishing colleagues for our semi-annual sales conference, which is...not exactly my idea of work heaven. On the one hand, many of us are scattered around the country and never see each other in person except at conference, so it has the feel of a family reunion. On the other, it's a week of forced socializing with people you're forced to talk to when you are secretly thinking that gnawing off your own arm might be more pleasant, so it...has the feel of a family reunion. The good: seeing my pals, hearing about upcoming books, and engaging with presenters know how to pump up a crowd of book nerds with sneak peek movie trailers, cheerleading speeches about the state of the business, and author visits. The bad: lousy food, a packed schedule, occasionally assigned seating, and the dreaded cocktail hour before each dinner. Imagine a five day schedule that has about four hours of free time between 8:30 am and 9 pm (that's four hours in the entire week, total), and then remember that this is a group of book nerds and probably 80% suffer at least a little social anxiety. We all flew into Florida, and I'd guess that 50% are anxious about flying. You're expected to talk during meetings, so let's just give the group a nice 95% total for those suffering from performance anxiety. You're in a hotel and you're not going outside anytime soon, so there's the claustrophobia for some. Also: public toilet usage, and one of my (least) favorite things ever, the Potty Talkers. If I'm trying to pee with a line of acquaintances out the door waiting on one of the four stalls in the women's restroom that has the row of doors that doesn't latch properly, I absolutely do not want to talk about the upcoming Ken Burns documentary about the Roosevelts. When people ask me about sales conference, I think first of being anxious.

Recently I read Scott Stossel's book My Age of Anxiety, an exploration of the history of a mental disorder and Stossel's personal relationship to it. Anxiety is now the most commonly diagnosed mental disorder in the US, and anxiety medications are the bestselling drugs ever. I have no doubt that there were quite a few prescriptions for Xanax and Klonopin and other drugs packed in luggage for our sales conference. But what's the deal with anxiety? Did you know that it was barely even recognized as a condition only a few decades ago? How did we get to a point where so many people are so clearly panicky?

Stossel, the editor of The Atlantic Monthly, has suffered from anxiety his entire life, as have many members of his family going back generations. He was the kid who cried every day of elementary school, the one who threw tennis matches just to get off the court faster, and his fear of vomiting is epic. He's tried many, many combinations of pills, and booze, and pills and booze, and has spent pretty much his whole life with therapists in an attempt to control his panic, fear, and dread. Trying to wrap his head around the condition that has dictated his life for so long, Stossel learned everything he could about anxiety and wrote a book.

Here are some fun tidbits:

• Anxiety could be genetic. There are specific genes now attached to people with anxiety disorders that can be plotted, and frequently anxious parents will have anxious children (even when they are trying to protect their children from the conditions they suffer). 
• Generalized Anxiety Disorder, the broad DSM V (the bible of psychiatric disorders that the docs use to diagnose people) category for people with anxiety, was created after it was discovered that certain medications alleviate panic, so in a sense, the drug created the disease. That's not to say that people weren't anxious before, but they didn't have a diagnosed disorder. They were shy or depressed or "a little off." 
• Anxiety has been around forever, and one famous sufferer was Charles Darwin, who hated leaving home, sailing on the ocean, and enclosed spaces. After Darwin completed in famous voyage on the Beagle, he mostly stayed home for the rest of his life. Scientists now look at anxiety as an evolutionary adaptability that helped early people survive when they had more to fear than Zorro attacking in the middle of the night. 
• Millions of people take SSRI's, selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, the class of drugs that includes Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, Celexa, etc. The drugs are among the most prescribed ever, but scientists aren't exactly sure how--and even if--they work. The brain is a complicated organ. Nonetheless, millions of people have seen some improvement on the drugs and flipping channels any night of the week will reinforce that we live in the age of psychopharmacology. 

Scott Stossel appeared on The Colbert Report.
He's afraid of cheese, among other things. 

My Age of Anxiety isn't a book with easy solutions to your twitchy issues, but it doesn't try to be that. This book is one man's account of a lifetime of anxiety and everything he learned about the condition, laid out clearly for a non-scientific audience, and with some levity. Stossel's attempt to overcome his fear of vomiting with exposure therapy--basically his therapist getting him to ingest Ipecac--is tragic comedy. Reading the book didn't make the cacophony of cocktail hour chit chat and crowds any easier for me at sales conference, but it did provide perspective. And if anything, people are resilient. Stossel survives in spite of his phobias and has a good job, and as far as I know, I wasn't fired at sales conference. 

Here's Scott Stossel's interview on the Colbert Report.

Dept. of Speculation by Jenny Offill

I’ve been talking about Dept. of Speculation by Jenny Offill quite a bit since reading it in January. Of course anyone who has heard me go on and on about a book knows that doesn’t mean I liked it; in fact, there is a certain bestseller from last year that I still complain about. I do however, like Dept. of Speculation quite a lot.

Offill’s book is the story of a marriage that very well may be coming to its end. Told in sparse vignettes (and when I say sparse I mean some are a line or two long), some darkly comic, some anyone who has been in a dissolving relationship will identify with, and a few are simply heartbreaking.

Jenny Offill

The size of the book may easily lend itself to being read in one sitting, and you certainly could breeze through this in an hour or two, as it’s less than two hundred pages.  But come on, are you made from stone? Do you want to be like Liz? No, I didn’t think so. To breeze through this book is to really miss an opportunity to let these thoughts or notes on life and marriage marinate. Take your time with this book and I guarantee that your experience is going to be richer than those who raced through it (and I suspect it is the case with a few of the reviewers). This little book lands some punches to the gut: it's deep, it's emotional, and it's raw. I took a month to read it; I suggest you do the same. Ok, that's not exactly true (at all) but I didn't read it in one sitting and I cried twice. 

This may be a wild comparison but after reading this my mind went to an old book that I go back to every now and again when I am pining for my youth (every Thursday at happy hour), Life After God by Douglas Coupland.  Also told through vignettes, Life After God explored many of the same things: anxiety, loneliness, and the end of relationships.

Oh, and for those of you who underline or highlight books...get your pens out. 

A Valentine's Day Letter to Liz

Dear Liz,

My sweet jovial friend…of course I haven’t given up on helping you find love.  Why would I? You aren’t at all picky and have what I would call an almost dangerously positive outlook on life and humanity. Of course I haven’t given up on being part of making all (well, nearly all) of your romantic dreams and nightmares come true, but with Valentine’s Day fast upon us and each hour we let pass is one less hour you could be spending in a state owned trailer enjoying a romantic conjugal visit, we must hurry.

No Touching!

I’ve signed you up for what I think are two excellent dating sites. Both suit your desire for someone who will be your best friend, truest confident, and life partner. Well, I didn’t write any of that in your profile but maybe you’ll luck out.

The first dating site, and trust me it wasn’t easy to get in this one, it’s very competitive, is PrisonTalk.com.  I really wanted to keep these gentlemen guessing, so I only provided your full name, address,  a photo of you sleeping, and a request that  “shorties need not reply.” Hope that’s okay. I also used your work email; let me know if you get any takers. 

The second dating site, and start writing that thank you note to me now, is called Tribe Of Singles, a really great online meeting place which is marketed as “exclusively for resilient optimist who believe in great love.” The only way that could have been more perfect for you, Liz, is if it was for Yankee fans only! Anyway this site clearly combines two of your passions: Optimism and social gatherings.

All I can say is … start looking for a wedding dress!

All this talk of you and romance got me thinking about several books that remind me of your tenacity to love and take risks at any cost. Let me list a few that our readers may want to read in order to get a better understanding of what it might be like to love Liz.

How the French Invented Love by Marilyn Yalom

This book completely captures Liz’s unbridled passion for everything/one she does. She also enjoys throwing her head back when men kiss her palm.

Solitude of Prime Numbers by Paolo Giordano

This novel really speaks to Liz’s boundless capacity to trust people. It’s no secret that Liz is an emotional open book; it’s completely inspiring. It also speaks to Liz’s love of Italians.

 

Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers

“A time when men sold their souls for gold and women sold their bodies for a place to sleep.” I don’t want to give too much away but Liz was living at my house for an entire month.

Labor Day by Joyce Maynard

A handsome (and physically fit) man escapes prison and kinda sorta takes a woman hostage and they fall in love. And also, he does a lot of housework. Uhh…Joyce Maynard get out of Liz’s head!!!

 

Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert

If you spent even five minutes with Liz from 2005 to 2009, all she did was talk about Eat, Pray, Love. Liz found the book transformative on every level, so it’s no surprise that Gilbert’s follow up just blew Liz away. Now all she talks about is her profound desire to marry and have babies (four: three boys and a little sister they can protect!).  

And finally...

100 Love Sonnets by Pablo Neruda

I once saw Liz whisper this to a man she barely knew, but fancied. She had to get down real low to actually whisper in his ear, but this is what I heard:

The sky folds its wings over you,

lifting you, carrying you to my arms

with its punctual, mysterious courtesy.

--from Love Sonnets

It was then and only then did I realize how very romantic Liz was. And how very, very tall. 

With every last bit of my love and dedication to your love,
Gianna

A Valentine's Day Letter to Gianna

Dear Gianna,

Gianna, where has our love gone?

It's that time of year again when your girlfriend texts me looking for gift ideas for you on that day for lovers and then refuses to accept "Zorro, gift wrapped" as a legitimate suggestion. It's also a time to reflect on my state of loneliness in this cruel world. You used to at least fake-attempt to find me a companion to suffer through the world's miseries together. You don't seem to care at all anymore. And I'm so lonely! I should just give away the cat and end this struggle against my existential angst. Gianna, I know that your girlfriend says that you wouldn't want a cat for Valentine's Day, but he's a special cat.

Since you want me to suffer alone, I decided that I should embrace my solitude with the appropriate Friday night, Valentine's Day reading. I'd watch a Girls marathon on TV, but those ladies have friends. Sigh. I'm a ship adrift. Gianna, I thought you were going to set up an OKCupid profile for me. Maybe this will help inspire you.

Five books to read on Valentine's Day if you're as pathetic as Liz:

Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer. Here's the story of a kid who graduates college, gives away all of his possessions, and wanders around the country in search of authenticity. He ends up in a broken down bus in Denali National Park. Spoiler: he dies. Happy Valentine's Day!

I loved Hotel World by Ali Smith. One reason I loved it is because the main character falls to her death in the dumb waiter shaft at the hotel where she works. Yep, she's dead for the whole book. It's similar to The Lovely Bones, but better written.

Sometimes it's good to keep things in perspective. At least this isn't a post-apocalyptic world in which it's just you and your kid wandering down a road and trying to avoid the gangs of cannibals roaming for meat (you). Thanks Cormac McCarthy. You always know how to cheer me up. For one thing, at least I don't have a kid. The Road is a feel good read if ever there was one.

Gianna, why can't you find me a soul mate like the couple in Kazuo Ishiguro's Never Let Me Go? Their love is timeless, beautiful, and even though they are clones being harvested for their organs in a near future dystopia (spoiler!), they never stop loving each other.

You know what book I love? Revolutionary Road. This is the story of a perfect match. There are so many broken dreams and mounting disappointments, much like our relationship, dear Gianna, that I don't know where to start. Remember when we were happy, before you forced me to settle for motherhood and thought that one more kid, the one I didn't want, would make us happy? I am the Kate to your Leonardo, or something.

Happy Valentine's Day, dear friend.

Love,

liz

The Ghost of the Mary Celeste by Valerie Martin

Hey, remember when we used to have a blog? Whatever happened to that? It turns out that sometimes the real world interferes with Book Land and we're distracted by other things...like when your dishwasher floods your house over the Christmas break and everything you own is put in storage and you find yourself living in Gianna's guest room. That happened. Oh, and then you catch the flu from one of the guys who moved all of your stuff and spend a week in bed with a fever. That happened. Ooh, and then the flu turns into pneumonia, and you suspect as much and go to a clinic for a chest x-ray but the doctor there says it's clear...until two days later when another doctor calls with a second opinion and the reason you can't breathe is because the pneumonia had an extra two days to fester. That happened too. For good measure, I shared my illness with Gianna because I'm kind like that, and she screamed "Shut up!" at me every time I coughed because she's kind like that too. Anyway, we are sorry for the lack of blogginess lately. It's Gianna's fault for breaking my dishwasher just so I'd move in with her. Cheap trick.

Painting of the Mary Celeste

It's time to break the radio silence in order to sing praises to Valerie Martin and her new book, The Ghost of the Mary Celeste. Some history first: The Mary Celeste was a real ship that sailed from 1861-1885. She was considered cursed because three of her captains died on board. In 1872, Captain Benjamin Briggs, his wife Sarah, their two year-old daughter Sophia, and a crew of seven set sail in the Atlantic. Later the ship was found abandoned in the ocean, but there was nothing wrong with the boat. The one lifeboat was missing. The crew and Briggs family were never heard from again. Spooky stuff. Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of Sherlock Holmes, used the story of the Mary Celeste as the basis for his first story. Legends popped up about ghosts, mutinies, natural disasters, and the Bermuda Triangle.

New York Times article
 about the lost ship.

Valerie Martin takes the legend of the lost ship and builds an incredible novel around the events and time in The Ghost of the Mary Celeste. I love this book. There are layers upon layers to ponder, blending history and fiction and questioning what is real, what is truth, what is a lie? The Briggs family is at the center of the book--Captain Briggs, wife Sarah, their older son who didn't accompany his parents on the voyage, and their toddler Sophia. Also, though, there is their niece, a woman who is haunted by the ghosts of her relatives and the story of the Mary Celeste and who works as a psychic. When a young Arthur Conan Doyle hears the legend of the ghost ship while on a voyage to Africa, he writes a story based on the boat, generating huge interest in the story back in the United States. Violet Petra, the psychic and niece of the lost Briggs family, is pitted against a journalist named Phoebe Grant who wants to prove that Violet is a fraud and get to the bottom of the mysteries.
her new novel,

I admit I'm a sucker for novels about the ocean in the golden age of exploration and whaling. So much was at stake for these people who boarded ships looking for new homes, riches, adventures. The ocean could and did swallow those who ventured out, and when hundreds of miles of water separate you from land, some crazy shit can happen (cannibal rat-infested cruise ship, anyone?). Martin perfectly captures this era and layers on the spiritualism craze of the late 1800's that saw society ladies participating in seances and talking to dead relatives. The Ghost of the Mary Celeste takes these elements and the mystery around the abandoned ship and creates a web of overlapping stories, history, ghosts, great characters, and superb writing. Here is first rate, atmospheric fiction to kick off the new year.

Holiday Gift Picks 2013: Viva Tequila

Okay, I am about to make your holiday season perfectly stress free. Not possible? Oh but it is. All you have to do is serve your family a few recipes from Viva Tequila: Cocktails, Cooking, and other Agave Adventures. You may have been thinking that you could only get shit faced from slamming a few shots of  tequila, turns out....you can eat the stuff too.

So not only will you be able to maintain a nice holiday buzz, but you can mellow out the in-laws too! Viva Tequila offers recipes from appetizers to desserts, I mean  you can literally keep the kin liquored up for days on end for a mere $35!

Seriously, this is a truly interesting book that not only includes agave recipes, but the history of agave, and some fascinating stuff about tequila in general (like how to pick good brand, what the color means, and you know... sip it!).

Holiday Gift Picks 2013: One Summer

Here's why I like Bill Bryson: he can talk about anything and he's interesting, charming, rambling, funny. Anything. He's proved this point with his travel memoir-type books like A Walk in the Woods and his histories like A Short History of Nearly Everything and his memoir The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid. He's an American with an English accent who isn't afraid to make fun of himself for being an American with an English accent. The guy, at least based upon his books, is the person you want to be seated beside at the dinner party full of strangers.

Lucky Lindy

Bryson's latest book is One Summer, an effervescent romp through the summer of 1927. You might think "Why should I care about 1927?" and the answer is that it was the height of the Jazz Age and a ton of cool stuff occurred. Let's start with Charles Lindbergh. Here was a guy who was just a kid pilot who showed up in New York when several teams of pilots raced to be the first to fly from New York to Paris. While they were the most famous pilots of the day and the media hounded them for constant updates, Lindbergh planned to fly solo (the other planes held several man crews), in a plane that was stripped down to the bare essentials of food and fuel. When Lindbergh landed in Paris, he instantly became the most famous man in the world. His accomplishment eased American/French tensions after World War I. His victory tour of America led to airports springing up across the country and pushed America to the forefront of global aviation. Lindy was a pregnant Princess Kate mixed with twerking Miley mixed with Edward Snowden mixed with Pope Francis. Nothing was bigger.

The Babe

...Except maybe for Babe Ruth. 1927 was also the year that Ruth and Gehrig kicked off the first home run race in baseball history and Ruth eventually hit 60 dingers. Some whole teams didn't hit 60 home runs that season. Only one player since 1927--Roger Maris--has matched this feat without steroids. And you can't overlook the popularity of baseball in 1927. Radio broadcast games around the country, and in places where there weren't teams, actors would recreate the games in real time for crowds.

Bill Bryson

And the summer of 1927 was Al Capone's time to shine as a gangster and liquor distributor, keeping booze flowing freely into Prohibition America. It was the summer that anarchists Sacco and Vanzetti were electrocuted. The Jazz Singer was filmed, forever changing movies by adding sound. Jack Dempsey popularized boxing, turning a tavern sport into one that could fill Madison Square Garden. Four bankers met and planned the financial strategies that would ultimately lead to the Great Depression.

On top of the events of 1927, Bryson is the master of the fascinating tangent, and One Summer is full of them. When writing about the execution of Sacco and Vanzetti, Bryson takes the time to recount the story of the executioner who figured out the proper way to electrocute a human. If you read/watched The Green Mile, you will recall that barbecued convict is traumatizing for all and best avoided. The book is full of these fun moments that make cultural history interesting and relatable. It's pretty easy to see how a fad like a guy sitting on the top of a flagpole in 1927 morphs into David Blaine's stunts. I admit it: I watched Blaine almost drown to death on live TV. I would have gawked at Shipwreck Kelly perched on a flagpole.

One Summer is good stuff. It's a great gift choice for a wide variety of readers, from dads/uncles/brothers who only read nonfiction, to pop history readers who liked Eric Larson's books, to my friend Tracy's dad's special lady friend Maggie who likes smart but readable books, to people who miss their really interesting college lecturers. And for commuters, Bill Bryson is audiobook gold.