Books NOT to discuss at Thanksgiving Dinner

This might be Gianna's family...or it might be from
Good Morning America's Awkward Thanksgiving Photos.

If you read one blog post today about how to survive your Thanksgiving gathering...it should
probably be one written by just about anyone else. Let's say that you are joining your bookish family for turkey and such, though, but need to stay clear of awkward themes. You're entering a minefield of cranky people pissed off that the gravy and turkey aren't ready to go to the table at the same time, and the prudish aunt who's offended by every topic of any interest and is not so silently judging your life choices, and the asshole uncle who's been watching cable news all year and has many, many racist sentiments to share, and your precocious cousin who's the queen of the duckface selfie and also tight with Jesus, and yet there you are, crusading book nerd, searching for anything, ANYTHING, to discuss that won't lead to tears, screaming, or your brother live-tweeting the whole ordeal with the hashtag #shitcrazyfam. Oh yeah, and there are about four family dogs present and all are having turkey-gasms while the bird is roasting. We want you to survive the day relatively unscathed. Why? We love our fans (and those who search online for "awkward lesbian conversation" or "The Sound of Music Liesl" and find this blog).

Here you go. DO NOT offer up these books/authors as topics of conversation if you want to keep the peace. (Alternately, if you love the holiday train wreck, by all means use this list as a game plan for your day. We won't judge you.)

No, you don't want to
discuss this book or
movie with your parents. 

1. Fifty Shades of Grey. Chances are that this is the one book that multiple people present at your dinner have read (or about which they have an opinion). Now that the movie trailer is playing online and in theaters, the Fifty Shades insanity is ramping up once again, but don't fall into this trap. First, do you really want to hear your mom talk about steamy sex books? And then there's the chance that your dad also read it "just to see what the fuss was about," and though he secretly loved it, again, it's a parent talking about sex at the Thanksgiving table. And then granny wants to know what they're talking about and precocious cousin invokes the name of Jesus to offer an opinion totally based on her extensive life experience of church youth group trips to Mexico. The aunt who may have conceived precocious cousin without ever actually having copulated with asshole uncle is judging you. Also consider that your mom might utter "Oh my," and invoke her Inner Goddess when the dogs begin humping each other. There's on way your brother won't post the whole scene on the internet. Best to avoid.

2. The Colony by John Tayman. This book is a history of the leper colony on the island of Molokai, Hawaii. Not only is it about leprosy and the glory of body parts sloughing off (who needs a nose?), but it's also the story of how a bunch of people only suspected of having leprosy were forcibly removed from their homes and sent to Molokai even when they didn't have the disease. Pass the lumpy mashed potatoes.

3. The Hot Zone by Richard Preston. Maybe you should just avoid all books about infectious diseases. This one is topical in that it's about the history and threat of Ebola, but prudish aunt will not want to hear about hemorrhagic fevers while cooking that cranberry sauce. It's a really great, terrifying read, though, and I actually did read it over the course of a Christmas afternoon one year when I was a kid.

We love Ina, but she's not the one
cooking your dinner. Red flag. 

4. Anything by the Barefoot Contessa. Your food is not going to look like Ina Garten's. Your asshole uncle is not going to like that you're comparing his grocery store-bought pecan pie to the the picture of the pie in the cookbook your mom is showing your father, complete with judging and whispering. While I would love to attend an Ina-catered T-Day gathering, your relatives aren't professionals and you will struggle to swallow that dry turkey bite if you sink into a reverie for sumptuous feasts that might have been. (This advice extends to all cookbooks, except perhaps for that Guy Fieri person's because he doesn't seem particularly competent or sanitary. And now I'm checking to see if Guy Fieri is published by Penguin Random House....okay, good. He's not published by my company.)

5. Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn. There's a good chance that asshole uncle dislikes prudish aunt. There's a good chance that prudish aunt wants to destroy asshole uncle's life. These people didn't start as miserable jerks. There are years of hostilities simmering and you don't want to give either of them any ideas. And let's not even start with your parents' marriage.

6. The Dinner by Herman Koch. I love this book, but A) it's dark, B) it's unsettling, C) it's all about a horrible family meal and secrets, and D) don't give the relatives any ideas.

7. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. Your cousin is already insufferable. Avoid books about which she's a crusader. Okay? Okay.

8. The Children Act by Ian McEwan. I love this novel and think it's a book that most people should read and discuss. It's a short, moral novel about a family court judge whose husband of 30 years has announced he wants an open marriage, and then the court case she must decide the next day. The case involves a hospital suing to administer a blood transfusion in order to save the life of a 17 year-old kid with leukemia. The kid is a Jehovah's Witness, though, and is religiously opposed and self-righteous in that way that teenagers are about their untried convictions. This is a great, great book for your reading group, but in the family Thanksgiving minefield, you're just asking for some teenage proselytizing or asshole uncle mansplaining.

9. The Song of Fire and Ice Series (Game of Thrones) by George R. R. Martin. Prudish aunt will not approve of the gore, or the sex, or the dragons, or the incest. Asshole uncle will not approve of you paying for HBO to watch the series.

Mmm...Scientology.

10. Going Clear by Lawrence Wright. Oh, dude, we love love love this book, and the word is that HBO is making a documentary based on the book (and hired 160 lawyers to vet everything). This is the history and expose of L. Ron Hubbard and the Church of Scientology. It's juicy stuff and full of details about Hollywood, religion, cult behavior, abuse of power, science fiction, aliens, and money. Why avoid it? A) There's a possibility of sliding down the slope of logic that suggests that if this religion is a corrupt scam, what about all of the other faiths out there? B) There's the chance that your relatives are prank people and will sign you up for the Scientologists' mailing list. Once you're on there, you can never escape. C) There's the possibility that precocious cousin converts right there at the table, or asshole uncle rails so vehemently about the sheeple and Hollywood elite liberals that he has a heart attack. You do not want to be the one asked to administer CPR to that asshole, and with all the excitement of a crisis, the dogs are probably humping again in this background. Steer clear.

Happy Thanksgiving. Good luck.

Best of 2012: Day 5

Chris Ware's Building Stories. Better than Jane Seymour's jewelry.

I'm willing to go out on a limb and say that anything we've featured on our Best of 2012 lists would make a better gift than any item from Jane Seymour's Open Hearts collection of jewelry.  How can I be so bold?  These books are original works that offer a variety of perspectives on the world and tell stories that need to be told...and they don't stink up a joint like the world's worst celebrity trite crap.  On a related note, guess what I'm getting Gianna for Christmas?  Anyway, here's the wrap-up to our week of favorite books.

Gianna:

Behind the Beautiful Forevers by Katherine Boo

Katherine Boo,
National Book Award winner.

 This is my favorite book of the year, in any category. The writing alone is simply gorgeous. Like Mountains Beyond Mountains or Cutting for Stone, ultimately this book is inspiring. Boo, not satisfied with the cliché exotic descriptions of a quickly changing India, wanted a more realistic portrayal--a gut check of sorts--of how this nation was changing the lives of the poor.

Boo spent over three years following residents of Annawadi, a Mumbai slum of 3,000 people just outside of the Mumbai International Airport. While India’s fortunes are certainly changing for some, Boo focuses on the lives that go unchanged for the most part. The hustle of the slum is unimaginable; nuns at an orphanage selling expired donated foods to poor women, who then in turn resell it at roadside stands. Abdul, who you will come to love, is a trash picker who supports his entire family, and he dreams of a better life. You won’t forget him.

Mumbai slum.

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

I know you’re tired of hearing about it. I know. It took my own girlfriend a year to finally decide to take me up on this recommendation, so I get it…but come on, don’t you want to be better than my girlfriend?

This is the novel that you will read, and then immediately want to talk to someone about, and then you call that someone and they haven’t read it and you realize…you can’t talk about the book without giving it away. And then you get pissed off at your friend for not having read the book. See, books divide friends and family.  They are evil!

A wife goes missing, the husband lies to the police (don’t ever lie to the police), his lie is revealed, and he is now the suspect. Just when you think you know who did this woman in…well, just read the book.  

Starring in the movie of Gone Girl

Liz:

Building Stories by Chris Ware

Is it possible that the most accomplished work of fiction this year is a graphic novel?  Yes.  Usually I don't go for that "a picture is worth a thousand words" saying.  I'm a word person.  I actually frequently dream in type, where instead of speaking, conversations are typed like manuscripts.  I'd rather have a thousand words that express nuance and beauty and turmoil.  In the case of Chris Ware, he is capable of detailing the slightest twinge of emotion in every illustration panel.  This book is a masterpiece.

Chris Ware

Consider Building Stories like a short story collection of interconnected narratives.  These are stories that together form a larger tale about the residents of a three story Chicago apartment building.  The women of this building live lives of quiet desperation with occasional moments of beauty and humor.  And the bee that lives outside offers a different perspective on the world they all inhabit.  Ten years in the making, Building Stories is the most innovative, creative, beautiful book of the year.

Gods Without Men by Hari Kunzru

The upside of a book coming out in the spring is that it isn't as packed with holiday titles and mega hits, so a book has a better chance of getting noticed.  The downside is that sometimes the spring releases are forgotten when the critics compile their annual lists.  Gods Without Men was a March title; human embryos have gone to term and squirted into the world since this title went on sale.  Nonetheless, it's a 2012 release and one of my favorite books of the year.

It's no secret that I'm a David Mitchell fan, and when I read Gods Without Men, I remembered how much I loved Cloud Atlas when I first read it.  Hari Kunzru's novel weaves together multiple stories across decades, geographically centered around a rock formation called The Pinnacles, in the middle of the Mojave Desert.  It's a sacred site for Native Americans, a gathering place for hippies and new age spiritualists, and a tourist attraction inside a national park.  

Hari Kunzru

Gods Without Men starts with a family hoping for a miracle in the desert.  On vacation, Jaz and Lisa are hoping to save their marriage.  Their relationship has been strained by the public outbursts of their autistic son Raj, and one morning they hike to The Pinnacles with Raj.  And then Raj disappears.  What starts with the disappearance of a child in the wilderness snakes back to the religious group that worshiped at the site during the 60's, and to the people who live in the area in the present day.  It weaves in drug dealers with Coyote the Trickster legends.  I love this book.

Polling the Masses: What to Read After Gone Girl

I've been noticing a trend over the last few months when perusing the search queries that led to our little blog.  Among things like "hot lesbians" (oh, the joys of sharing a blog with Gianna) and "cover of Old Yeller," there are a huge number of people out there in Book Land looking for books similar to Gillian Flynn's breakout psychological thriller Gone Girl.  We, of course, love Gillian Flynn and her books.  If you're looking for Gone Girl-esque reads, don't overlook Flynn's other novels, Sharp Objects and Dark Places.  I decided to ask our group of experts--some of the booksellers across our territories--for some other options.  I'm sure they've been fielding this question for months now, so we're going to steal their ideas and smear them all over the web (or at least to the web surfers looking for "Liesl Von Trapp" and "cute naked girls"...not necessarily together).  A friendly reminder: shopping at these bookstores keep these booksellers employed and keep the expert recommendations coming.  Say thank you by shopping at your local bookstore.  It makes a difference.

Ashanti (via fellow bookseller Stephanie), Boulder Book Store, Boulder, Colorado 

One of our booksellers, Ashanti, read and loved Gone Girl, and I asked her what she'd recommend to someone who enjoyed that book.  She said that she thinks she may love it for different reasons than most people, but she did say she was reading I, Lucifer by Glen Duncan at the same time as she read Gone Girl, and felt that the two books complimented each other nicely. She said she would also recommend Gillian Flynn's other books, or something by Stephen King - she feels The Shining has a similar tone.

Cathy, Tattered Cover, Denver, Colorado

How about Robert Goddard's Into the Blue or Borrowed Time? Page turners about missing/dead women with a sketchy anti-hero. Plot AND character driven.

McKenna, Murder By the Book, Houston, Texas

Megan Abbott -- The End of Everything and Dare Me

Tana French -- anything [Tana French pops up a lot when I've informally asked booksellers this question.  I've heard nothing but praise for her books.]

Danielle, Brazos Bookstore, Houston, Texas

I recommend John Fowles The Collector. It has a similar format and tone to Gone Girl - it's half told from the point of view of a kidnapper & half from entries in the kidnapped woman's diary. You hear the same story from two dramatically different points of view, and they're both fascinating to follow. It's Fowles' first novel that he wrote relatively young in the mid-sixties. Amazing writing - reads like a thriller but is obviously a literary novel. [I love this book.  It's the stuff of nightmares and refers back to Shakespeare's The Tempest.  Great read.]

Scott, BookPeople, Austin, Texas

The End Of Everything by Megan Abbott- Abbott takes noir to new areas with the story of a 13 year-old girl in 80's suburban Detroit looking into the disapearance of her friend and learning more secrets than she should. A strong, complex, beautifully disturbing look at people ruled by thier desires and emotions.

Valerie and the staff at Blue Willow Bookshop, Houston, Texas
I'd love to share but we can't think of anything like that hot mess. We'd love to know what other booksellers think!

Summer Reading 2012: Gone Girl

(Gianna)
I know you. You are just like Liz when it comes to your summer reading. You want love: you want a bit of sex, wrapped in a bit more violence, with just a touch of regret, and a few tears. And if it’s a weekend…you want a vampire thrown in for good measure (and you know what I mean by good measure, right ladies!). [Is she talking about another Liz here? I just read a novel about an old man dying of cancer and coping with his regrets. I don't remember any vampires.] And you know, we can suggest books like that by the truckload [no we can't], but for fun we thought this summer we would suggest some books a bit higher on the literary ladder.

I am going to start with what I think is going to be the book of the season, and the one book you really will not be able to put down.  Yep, Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn will be the best book you read this summer, I promise. It has everything that our beloved Liz likes in her books: sex, lies, twists, and turns, and plenty of vampires. Okay no vampires, but you don’t really want vampires anyway. Stop saying you do, you don’t! [Gianna has pneumonia right now.  She may be delirious.]

Author Gillian Flynn. There's a twisted mind inside
that head.  Excellent.

Gone Girl is incredibly well written (fans of Dan Chaon and Kate Atkinson alike will not be disappointed), and while Dark Places was fantastic, and Sharp Objects was truly original…this one is better. This is it; this is the book you want to have your summer affair with. But you know, treat it right, and bring it to the beach or home for the weekend to meet your parents.  

One last thing; you will want to talk about this book to anyone who will listen, but you sort of can’t lest you spoil it. My advice is to buy two copies, one for you and one for the person who will ditch a day of work with you to dissect this read.  You should always have a friend like that. 

[I loved this book too. It's the Scott Peterson trial mixed with Double Indemnity.  And Gillian Flynn owns a fat cat and likes to write about twisted, dark women.  My kind of author.]

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn

(Gianna)

Gillian Flynn is a bit twisted. Twisted in a good way, like Dan Chaon is twisted. She is a smart, original, and truly gifted writer. But my God she is twisted.

Daniel Woodrell

 Last year I read an excellent biography of Patricia Highsmith.  After I finished it, I immediately bought and read  (I had not up to that point read any of her books) Strangers on a Train, The Talented Mr. Ripley, and The Price of Salt.  It is only now occurring to me after reading Flynn’s third excellent novel that she has Highsmith talent. She is that good.

Patricia Highsmith

I often think I have genre blindness. I always forget that Daniel Woodrell  (Winter’s Bone, Tomato Red) and even Kate Atkinson are mystery writers; in the same way I never really realized that Gillian Flynn is a mystery writer. Technically they are so good it doesn’t really matter, I guess, but I wouldn’t hesitate to put Flynn in with this group of top tier writers (and I am including Chaon in here, as I think he is an excellent comparison for those who like a more cerebral mystery).

 

Flynn has you by page one. She does, so, you know, don’t fight it, just give in. She had me on page one of Sharp Objects and Dark Places and she will get you too. Cancel your weekend plans, call in sick to work, order a pizza, and read. Her books have insanely good hooks, and much like Highsmith and Kate Atkinson, oh, the twists and the turns. [Liz here--I like her better than Kate Atkinson.]

 

Gone Girl is a literary novel, a thriller, a mystery, a book club pick that won’t disappoint when the discussion begins, and a beach read all at the same time. And if you want to talk "unputdownable," a completely overused made-up word in publishing; I feel no shame in using it for this book. Not only could I not put it down, but I was actually stressed out all the way through. I mean, it's great when a book entertains…but don’t you really want to be stressed out over a holiday weekend? I know I did.

The wonderfully twisted
Gillian Flynn.

A wife missing. A husband whose lies catch up with him one by one as he becomes the only suspect.  A novel where nothing is what it seems. Oh, and planning a wedding? This will give you pause.