Friday, March 18, 2011

Changes in Book Land

Hello UT Press!

The astute among the dozens of you devoted readers no doubt searching for photos of big ass steaks might have noticed the slight alteration on our little blog disclaimer.  (Did you know that our blog has a disclaimer?  And would you guess that it was added because the powers that be wanted to distance themselves from whatever might pop up here?)  Specifically, my esteemed colleague Gianna decided that the pleasure of working with me was simply too much to bear (no, really, that's what she said) and when an opportunity arose to become sales manager at UT Press, she opted to switch jobs. 

While we will continue our joint blogging, I can't pretend that the new reality is hard on me.  I've learned so much from Gianna over the last four years.  Such as....
  • Everything can be construed as a "that's what she said" joke, and TWSS is our version of WWJD.  I think we need wristbands.
  • If you pass something outlandish while in the middle of nowhere, you absolutely should turn around and drive back, even if it requires backtracking several miles, and especially if the spectacle could be perceived as offensive/ if you're photographing a 50 foot crucifix in the middle of West Texas.
  • The rap classic "Dope Man" is actually a feminist anthem about the hardships of whoredom.  My former colleague preferred to recite the lyrics in the voice of Ethel Merman.
  • This is the worst song ever.  And Gianna loves it....particularly the speaking parts.

  • My body will be dumped from the I-10 bridge crossing the Atchafalaya Basin in Louisiana.
  • Be weird, try new things, but always, ALWAYS remember that bookselling ultimately involves sharing one's passion for great books.
This is the UT mascot.
It is a castrated cow.
(Let the hate mail commence.)
While we're at it, I'd like to dispel a few rumors:
  • Gianna isn't my girlfriend and we aren't married.  I will survive.
  • Also, she didn't die.  We still talk.  How else would I keep up with my celebrity gossip?
  • Gianna wasn't my boss even though she sometimes bossed me around and once sat in my lap. (Isn't that what bosses do?) 
  • We never committed a felony...we may have committed a misdemeanor or two.
  • I am not "freakishly tall."  She's just obnoxiously stunted.
And some revelations:
    This is the Knopf mascot.
    It is the noble and dignified Borzoi.
About once a week Gianna emailed or called me asking for a copy of that email she needed and accidentally deleted.
  • Mooning, according to Gianna, is not considered harassment if she's not my boss (and we've established she wasn't).
I've asked Gianna to bring me lunch at least once a week for the last four years, and every single time she's either asked me to wait outside (if it's raining or cold) or told me that she left it by my door.  I'm starving!  And I might die from exposure!
  • Secretly Gianna loves me.

God help you, UT Press.


  1. It is very awesome you have this passion. Selling these kind of material will truly help you reach out millions. This is also a good thing for Texas Land Sales seekers because they will be going near your place. Good luck to you!