Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Gianna's Thoughts on the Most Important Holidays

Mole Day? Huh?
The calendar is packed with important holidays that are, among other things, a call to action. Why the hell do we need St. George’s Day? Who wants to give a rose and a book to a loved one? We already have really great, important holidays! Mole Day comes to mind. When we reach a certain age and, if you’re like me, have spent way too much time in the sun, it's very helpful to have a reminder to check yourself for new or suspicious moles. Turns out, however, that October 23rd is less a call to action to body check yourself for moles and more about chemistry (or mass? I saw the word 'chemistry' and stopped reading) or some brainy thing, that’s actually what Mole Day is so you know – party your ass off kids. Or actually party your pants off literally – on No Pants Day which is the first Friday of May (Liz calls this every Friday but for the hardcore No Pants Dayers it’s the first Friday of May). One is encouraged to leave your pants behind and wear boxers, briefs, panties, bloomers or I guess nothing at all if you are staying at home. It's pretty gross.

Some holidays just annoy me in a general way, like Friendship Day (I don’t get it), National Hug Day (I just find this creepy), Groundhog Day (that’s right), Sweetest Day (just one more 'fuck you' to the lonely) and Pi Day (I am bad at math and find this offensive). I sort of got excited when I saw International Cannabis Day/Four Twenty but only because I glanced at it and thought it was International Cannibal Day and thought "Now there’s something!" But no, it's just weed with its own stupid day – maybe because I live in Austin where every day is cannabis day but; this holiday annoys me. I know for sure that if it didn’t have four twenty after it I wouldn’t be bothered at all – it’s the four twenty that gets me...obviously because I had to ask what it meant. But some holidays send me over the edge....

Celebrating Ninja Day will get you a dirty look from me, and trust me I learned from the best, so it's nothing to mess with (my dirty looks...or the ninjas). But if you are over the age of 13…no, if you are over the age of 8, and you are celebrating this little gem; International (International…nice touch) Talk Like a Pirate Day I dare you, I dare you to do it – I will slap the shit out of you on 9/19. I blame you Johnny Depp.

So here is my point – a holiday that consists of giving a rose and a book to a loved one on April 23rd – St. George’s Day –really is a pretty fantastic idea. I mean this as a national holiday would make us seem … you know…well….it would make us seem better than a country that has a No Pants Day. Plus Austin…we could tweak that rose to a bit of weed and a book.

So let me give you a book right now; a flavor of St. George’s Day….

Kissing In Manhattan by David Schickler. I love this book because it sticks to your bones. I find it really hard to believe that 1. I read it ten years ago and that 2. I have only read it one time. You might say "Well if it’s so good Gianna why have you only read it once?" And to that I say to you, "Why so mean?" I truly feel as though I have just read it; I never have to search my mind for the stories or most titles or which are my favorites. I feel really very close to it. I think about this book often; I know exactly where both copies are on my shelf (have one in HC and one in paper to loan out). I treasure this book; each story has such independent and significant beauty and then you catch yourself with a bit of a smirk on your face, the humor sneaks up on you. There are two stories that, for me anyway, just took my breath away. I think when we give gifts, any gifts – if we are thoughtful gift givers, that is what we want to do – we want to give something with meaning and something that lasts. Kissing in Manhattan. I hope you love it.

Now what color rose would you like?


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